I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
