yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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