Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
