I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Life is so much better after having sex.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
