Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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