I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
