I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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