if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
