At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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