Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize