Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
