And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
