You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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