Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
