Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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