Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
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I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
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Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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