yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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