I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize