she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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