Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's rum buckets o'clock
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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