Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize