guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
