Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show

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(916): View more from California

day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?

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(217): View more from Illinois

Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(651): View more from Minnesota

i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.

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(406): View more from Montana

you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday

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(937): View more from Ohio

I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.

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