i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
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he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
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I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back