Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them

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  (269): I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them http://tfl.nu/yhv5
  Replies (2) Good night (1505) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown

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  (269): Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown http://tfl.nu/j7bk
  Replies (3) Good night (1662) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background

  (443): View more from Maryland

  that only happened once.

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  (443): why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag? (410): haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background (443): that only happened once. http://tfl.nu/9rml
  Replies (36) Good night (5097) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.

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  (561): I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on. http://tfl.nu/csv9
  Replies (14) Good night (5034) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.

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  (917): you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza. http://tfl.nu/ks5u
  Replies (31) Good night (936) Bad night (11700)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit

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  (412): How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body? (1-412): Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit http://tfl.nu/2oue
  Replies (51) Good night (2400) Bad night (13956)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart

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  (815): Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart http://tfl.nu/4qqp
  Replies (19) Good night (7895) Bad night (1767)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?

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  (416): At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out? http://tfl.nu/a2wn
  Replies (13) Good night (2795) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.

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  (630): Thursday nights need to stop happening to me. http://tfl.nu/p744
  Replies (8) Good night (2427) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?

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  (978): and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy? http://tfl.nu/x9f9
  Replies (15) Good night (1632) Bad night (1236)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.

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  (925): Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude. http://tfl.nu/h87p
  Replies (7) Good night (1720) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.

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  (330): I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it. http://tfl.nu/otfu
  Replies (2) Good night (746) Bad night (700)
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  (805): View more from California

  Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.

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  (805): Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/zu2d
  Replies (6) Good night (419) Bad night (1766)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.

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  (780): I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face. http://tfl.nu/4tu2
  Replies (3) Good night (840) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.

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  (954): He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants. http://tfl.nu/tg9t
  Replies (3) Good night (1168) Bad night (274)

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