im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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