worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
