Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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