Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
