i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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