She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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