Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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