honey bunches of taint.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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