it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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