put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The power of my boobs compel you
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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