It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
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I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
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It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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