Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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