Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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