so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
