And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
