And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
