we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Let's get the cat blown out
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
