WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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