on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
