i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
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I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
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I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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