The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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