She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
