Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
