I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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