Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
