her vagina looked like bernie madoff
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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