I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
