he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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