you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
