between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm passing your future prison.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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