Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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