Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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