Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize