If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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