You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
