Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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