i just had sex bonerless
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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