if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
