I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
