Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
