Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
