hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
