I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
