Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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