Your tits are I can't wait for
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
