Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
