yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
