Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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