Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I need water and some morals
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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