everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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