if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
