either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
