Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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